Reaching a Crossroads


An amazing opportunity has presented itself. Although I’ve worked in the field of education for over twenty years in a variety of different roles, one thing I have never done is filled the role of classroom teacher. Sure, I’ve spent countless hours observing and assisting in classrooms, co-taught lessons, created and done presentations for students and facilitated lots of inservice days and training programs for teachers – but I’ve never had the total responsibility for a classroom for a whole school year. So when a term position opened up for an instructor in my college’s Social Service Worker program, it seemed like a no brainer. My two loves – social work and education – married together. What could be more perfect?
Except that I love my job. I work in a Mature High School program with adults who have often had to overcome incredible challenges to get there. I get to watch them learn and grow – often discovering that they are much more capable than they ever realized. It’s truly a magical place – how could I leave that?
As I struggle to make the decision of whether or not to apply for this new position, I realized that what was really causing me difficulty was not which job I wanted to do – but rather, being in limbo not knowing what picture to focus on in my head. I was reading William Glasser’s biography this morning, and was struck again with the idea that the outside world doesn’t cause feelings and behaviours – it’s our internal world that creates these. And my problem is that I have two clear pictures in my head – one of me working as a classroom instructor, and one of me working in my current role – and they both are incredibly need-fulfilling in their own way. I know that no matter what happens – whether I am chosen for this position or not – that I can choose happiness and fulfillment. I just don’t know what decisions are going to be made by external forces outside of my control. If I’m not offered the new job – I know I have the power to choose thoughts and behaviours that will make me feel relieved that I can remain with my current colleagues and students and continue the important work we do. And if I am offered the teaching position – I will feel excited about the opportunity to face a new challenge and expand my experiences and skills.
I could choose the opposite. I could focus on feelings of rejection and lost opportunities should I not be offered the position. And if the opposite were to occur, I could lament all the extra time and work that is going to be required, not to mention my lost hopes of a winter vacation this year!
This is the gift of control theory – having the knowledge that no matter what the world throws at me, I have the control to determine what I’m going to do, think, and feel about it. And with that knowledge, I can always choose happiness.
I’ll keep you posted! I don’t know what I’m going to be doing next school year – but I know it will be a great year!