Of the many changes that Restitution has brought to my life, one that comes up almost every day is that I can no longer use the phrase “That makes me…” without smiling and recognizing that this is not at all true.
I used to be able to say things like:
“That student makes me crazy!”
“This job makes me so stressed!”
“My kids make me so frustrated!”
There was a certain freedom in laying blame for my feelings on others. It means that I am just a helpless victim of circumstance, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
But the flip side of that coin, is that I don’t want to be a helpless victim. I don’t want my day, week or life to be controlled by others.
Restitution taught me that all behaviour is chosen. Often, it’s not a conscious choice, but once I became aware of this, I realized that I get to choose whether I’m going to think negatively or positively; be angry or understanding; see things as a hardship or an opportunity.
The tricky part is that this means work for me. When I find myself in a difficult situation, I can no longer play the victim, but I have to take control of myself and be responsible for my own choices in how I am going to respond.
The good news is: I am in the driver’s seat. I get to choose my path.
What path are you choosing?